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Saying Goodbye to Loved Ones, When There's Nothing More We Can Do
By Jondi Whitis
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He was young, too young to be crippled. But there it was, the incovenient truth.
A dear dog with goofy, uncoordinated moves, nearing his first birthday was suddenly, inexplicably coming loose at the seams. His legs wouldn't do what his head or heart commanded. He shook and lurched and expressed his great Lab happiness in tandem with these jerks, a St. Vitus' ballet. Small lips of stairs and doorways suddenly imprisoned his long golden limbs in whatever room he'd been carried.
His family loved him, and had taken him the route of all good pet parents -- vet, second vet, second opinion on the second vet, and so on. All were mystified and recommended an MRI.
Poor Dylan continued to deteriorate, and I even found, through great animal friends and EFT practitioners, a terrific vet. Surely this could be the one to discover the real problem, and more importantly, the cure! But in that space of time between waiting, the prognosis came back from the MRI, an unlikely diagnosis called "Wobblers Disease", a sudden narrowing of the cervical vertebrae that seems to "choke" off the proper nerve function. Back legs and toes start to drag, the whole dog starts to wobble, hence the name, then the front and neck droop. And the malfunction began moving as silently as a shark, consuming the young dog's vitality in frighteningly large gulps..
Even though there is limited treatment known, from either surgery or electro-acupuncture, the overriding impression was one of learning to say goodbye as the inevitable marched forward.
As a close family friend, not to mention a complete soft-touch for any animal who suffers, I turned to my toolbox to treat us all: myself first, so I could 'get out of the way', his owners who watched him suffer each day, and of course Dylan, the dog himself.
Having seen the wonders EFT can do in every situation, I had no question about using it for this one. For myself, the set-up was child's play:
"Even though I am the world's biggest softie, and can be undone by an animal's suffering, I completely accept myself; Even though I have an overwhelming desire and need to help any animal who suffers, sometimes to my own harm, I accept that this is my heart's true nature, and I accept myself, just as I am....Even though I have no idea how to help myself or Dylan, except to tap, I am grateful that I know this healing tool, and I am grateful that I can be of service in this way..."
Next, I tapped surrogately for Dylan's family, with the 3-step model taught me by Gwyneth Moss: About Them, To Them, then As Them.
A series like so:
1. "Even though they long to help their poor boy, there's very little they can do, and it hurts them to see their dog like this..."
2. "Even though you folks are so good to Dylan and I know you're tyring very hard to do the best you can in a near-impossible situation..."
3. "Even though we have done our best, gone to every doctor and treatment and x-ray available, there seems to be no hope...we're resigned to helping him be as comfortable as we can...we love him and he's a fine dog and friend and we'll do the best we can; we accept you completely, Dylan, just as you are..."
Lastly, I tapped surrogately for Dylan. This is when my tears began to fall again, and I had to go back, and tap for myself one more time before proceeding. When I was composed again, I used the same 1-2-3 model above.
1. "Look at dear Dylan, he looks so fragile and pitiful..it's so unfair, he's so young, .I wish I knew what to do for him, there's nothing I can really do for him, and I feel powerless and sad when I look at him... I love him anyway; he's a great dog...I can at least send Dylan my loving energy..."
2."Even though you, Dylan, are having a terrible time trying to do the simplest of things, including just to stand up, you are loved completely by your family and friends, just as you are...you're a great dog, and we all love you..."
3. "Even though I, Dylan, am feeling lost and out of control, and I can't understand what's going on, I see that you love me, I see your concern and your extra love you give me every time I see you...and I thank you for that...I somehow know you are doing the best you can, just as I am....I can feel parts of me leaving, and I am sad to leave, but this just seems out of my control...I am glad you are here, I worry when you leave me, and I can't get up by myself..I need your reassurance that you'll be here with me."
(More) 4. Even though you, Dylan, are having problems, I completely love and bless you in every way. May your companions be peaceful, loving, kind, and always mindful of your sweet presence in their lives. May your heart be lifted up with joy, secure in the knowledge that you are loved and cared for. May your body be way behind your heart in feeling any pain. May your days be filled with joy in every way.
This is the kind of love I can give this family, this animal, and the gift of lovingkindness we give to one another through surrogate tapping. I am past hopeful of outcome with Dylan, but I am clear-eyed and strong-hearted in my intention to send them all my best. My best energy, my clearest self and intention, my higher self connected by focused energy, on the wings of tapping fingers and a deep heart.
May you and yours find solace and healing love in surrogate tapping with one another, as we pass each other along the way "Home".